![]() This was not some pessimistic worldview, quite the opposite really. I felt very strongly that the communal suffering, and our ability to transcend it, was the thing that held us together. I sat and wrote and wrote, and in doing so I found a way back, or at least a way through the veil of grief, to the other side. We all needed to draw ourselves back to a state of wonder. It seemed to be everywhere we looked – people in search of meaning and wonder. It also became very clear to both of us that we were not alone! We could see there were many others out there, floating around in the dark, outside of their lives. Work became the lifelines thrown out to us as we floated lost in narcissism and self-absorption. It was these two things – community and work – that showed Susie and me a way forward. I felt very acutely that a sense of suffering was the connective tissue that held us all together. I kind of realised that work was the key to get back to my life, but I also realised that I was not alone in my grief and that many of you were, in one way or another, suffering your own sorrows, your own griefs. So how do we return to our lives – to the awe of existence – and reclaim a sense of wonder? Well, for me, it had something to do with work but it also had something to do with community. We were surviving, but we were surviving in exile on the perimeter of our lives, way beyond anything that mattered. Everything loses its sheen and appears beyond our reach. Great trauma can rob us of this, the ability to be awed by things. Creative people in general have an acute propensity for wonder. We were kind of outlanders floating in deep space.īut what had collapsed? What is at the centre of our lives? In an artist’s case (and perhaps it is the same for everybody) I would say it is a sense of wonder. But, you are right, for a year it had been difficult to work out how to write, because the centre had collapsed and Susie and I had been flung to the outer reaches of our lives. ![]() I am writing much more and it is strong and focused, in my opinion. Something has definitely shifted and I have written a lot of new stuff. ![]() The good news is that in the last year I have felt intensely connected to my writing. ![]()
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